In The Shadow
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– My dear, when men kill each other and leave each other's wives as widows, there's nothing romantic about it! But my boy is back! Alive… How long I have waited for this day! We shall have to go to church and give God a prayer of thanks! – said Lady Gilda. – No, no! We'll have mass! Send the maid to the priest! Let her prepare a long and beautiful Mass for tomorrow!
– I will, Mother! And mass is necessary! – Alienor exclaimed enthusiastically, but then a shadow darkened her brow, and she added: – The celebration will be not only in honour of his return, but also in honour of his engagement… He's getting married. And do you know to whom?
– Married? – This news made Lady Norton stop her step, press her palms to her breast and almost cry with happiness: "Oh, will I soon hold my grandchildren in my arms? And who is the lucky lady? May God send them happiness and fertility! May her womb nurture and bear many children!
– He's going to marry Brigid, mother! – bending down to her mother's face, Alienor said quietly. No one must hear their conversation.
– But, my dear, it is already agreed that she is to marry William Tury! Of course it's wrong of him to try to hurt you and avenge your rejection by marrying your best friend, bu…-" Lady Norton whispered loudly, surprised.
– 'Forget it! Neither Brigid, nor her father, nor her mother know of that fool's letter! Our Philip loves her! He never told me so openly, but in his letters he often asked about her, and told me to send warm greetings from him! – She had already resigned herself to the fact that Brigid would not be married to the man she loved, for Miss Norton knew that her brother would love, protect, and cherish her friend. And Philip himself deserves to be happy! As he said: "Brigid may not love him now, but she will love him later." After all, how can one not love this blond, blue-eyed handsome man?
– But… Brigid is poor! Her father won't give her a dowry, you know he's in disgrace! Why should our boy marry a maiden of such reputation? What will they say of us? That we are related to traitors? – Lady Gilda said indignantly, and her face flushed.
– You speak as if my Brigid were some kind of harlot, mother! – Alienor replied icily: her mother's words had hurt her deeply. – It was not her fault that Sir Richard had been so foolish as to cross Anne Boleyn! Why should she suffer for his long, sarcastic tongue? There is no wife like Brigid in the world for Philip! Beautiful as an angel, timid as a doe, obedient as… – The girl hesitated, unable to find the right word, because she herself was never obedient and was not going to become. – As a woman should be! Take back what you said, or I swear I won't say another word to you! Not a word, even if you were lying on your deathbed! – Alienor's anger at her mother's unjust remark was so great that she was ready to put her threat into action.
– Oh, my angel, I love Brigid as much as you, as if she were my second daughter! – Lady Norton hastened to correct herself, and, smiling ingratiatingly, took her daughter's hands in her own. – Our Philip will be happy with her! And I shall be as happy as he is! But go to the church; there is no need to look for a maid! And I'll hurry to the kitchen, and have so many delicacies prepared that the leftovers will feed thousands of beggars and poor people!
***
Alienor was surprised to find her friend in the old stone church, which was pleasantly cool in summer and cold in winter, leaving Father Mark and his parishioners freezing to the bone.
Brigid was kneeling at the crucifix, gazing into the face of Jesus, and slowly working the rosary. Her lips were moving in silent but passionate prayer, oblivious to everyone and everything around her. She had come to God to ask him: Is this the destiny he wants for her? Is she destined to be the wife of Philip, a man she does not love and can never love? Even though he is Alienor's brother, even though he is handsome and strong and his father is rich… She does not wish to walk down the aisle with him, does not wish to lie in the marriage bed with him.
"Why are you so cruel to me, Lord? I am Your faithful and obedient daughter, I have not missed a single prayer, and at Mass I sing the loudest, and my soul quiets at every word You have written in Your sacred book… Why not William? Why Philip? But my father is so pleased… He can't wait to get rid of me, I can feel it… Forgive me my doubts, forgive my lack of understanding, my stupidity… But is this what You have prepared for me? To be the wife of a man I don't love and the mother of his children? If so, give me a sign, and I will humble myself and never doubt again. If not, if it is… A misunderstanding or… Or something else, tell me! Before it's too late! Before I say 'I agree' to him at your sacred altar!" – prayed Brigid, closing her eyes tightly and rocking back and forth slightly, hoping to get an answer to her questions from her Creator.
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